Woman on the Verge
by xoxolonelygirl
Summary: You know you love me.


And I have the biggest news ever. Don't believe me? See for yourselves. Can't believe the love of his life has returned. If only she knew who he was. And everyone is talking. Clock's ticking. And didn't even have one limoncello. Has our bad girl really gone good? Or is it all just part of the act? Why'd she leave? Why'd she return? Send me all the deets. And this could be a classic. And you know who loves parties? Or will he end up with another victim? I told you I love parties. Too bad there's school on Monday.

Truth is, I never went to bed. Why waste precious time dreaming when waking life is so much better? And apparently not very sweet. But you know what is? Revenge. We hear it's best served cold. Who's hungry? For destruction, that is. Sparks were flying for sure, but will it be a threeway or a D-Day? His name is- ugh, who cares?

There's plenty of upside to being the spawn of the fabulously wealthy. But the downside? Super successful parents expect nothing less from their offspring. And when it comes to college, that means the Ivys. It's more than just getting into college, it's setting a course for the rest of your life. And for those few who aren't legacies, the pressures are no less. When parents have sacrificed for their children's futures, what kid would want to let them down? We hear that World War III just broke out. And it's wearing kneesocks. Choose your side or run and hide. We have a feeling this one's to the death. Honesty may be the best policy in some ZIP codes, but not in this one. And not this week. Because "I was a teenage drug addict" is not exactly a winning college essay. Will she use it as ammunition or will she finally surrender and put down her arms?

I guess miracles can happen. The rules for a model the day of a photo shoot are similar to those of a patient pre-surgery. No food or drink 12 hours prior, wear comfortable clothing, and make sure your affairs are in order. You never know what could go wrong in a flash. You didn't hear it from us, but in every girl's life there comes a moment when she realizes that her mother just might be more messed up than she is. Who doesn't love a five-finger discount. Especially if it's the middle one. Everyone knows you can't choose your family but you can choose your friends. And in a world ruled by blood lines and bank accounts, it pays to have a pal. As much as a BFF can make you go WTF, there's no denying we'd be a little less rich without them. They do besties better than anyone. No, that's not a tear in my eye. It's just allergies. Without you, I'm nothing.

A tradition since the year 2000, each one more decadent than the last. No expense—or reputation—is spared. Cinderella stepping onto a pumpkin instead of her carriage. Hope that Hello Kitty sleeping bag doubles as a parachute. Lighter than air and heading downtown.

Couture and canapé are just another Saturday night until you add a mask. But preparing for a ball is an event in itself. Which is why queens invented handmaidens. Looks like parents can be deceiving on both sides of the Bridge. Someone pour that man a drink.

Speak of the devil and he doth appear. Wearing his trademark scarf. Whoever thought monarchy was dead didn't realize it just changed ZIP codes.

And for the next 16 hours the only thing I'm dishing is seconds. When the cat's away, the mice will play. Have fun, little rodents.

When the mere act of descending a staircase means you're a woman. That's right: Debutante season. And from what we hear, there's been some changes to the lineup. With strings attached. Come out, come out, wherever you are. His heart. It's often said that, no matter the truth, people see what they want to see. Some people might take a step back and find out they were looking at the same big picture all along. Some people might see that their lies have almost caught up to them. Some people may see what was there all along. And then there are those other people. The ones that run as far as they can so they don't have to look at themselves. And as for me, I can see clearly now.

Where the only thing "bazaar" are the donated items for sale. All the grace of Nancy Kerrigan, but packing the punch of a Tonya Harding. Looks like Daddy's little girl isn't sugar and spice and everything nice after all. Hear those silver bells? Some families actually do make the yuletide gay, managing to leave their troubles far away… Other families have a merry little christmas, even when their troubles aren't so far away…Some presents might end up getting returned. But some gifts are for keeps. Other presents come when you least expect them. And everyone knows the biggest present comes in the smallest box. Then, there are those boxes you wish you had never opened. Have a holly jolly Christmas.

Refined. Elegant. Imposing. But sometimes all it takes is a little key to open the door to the wild side. There's a weak link in every chain. And it's just a matter of time before this one snaps.

Anyone can commit a minor indiscretion and generate a day's worth of buzz. But in order to birth a true scandal, it requires the right person to be in the wrong place. Add a crowd eager to see her fall. And give them the means to knock her down. And for a scandal to really blow up, all it needs is an unexpected turn. Looks like the Virgin Queen isn't as pure as she pretended to be. Two guys in one week? Talk about doing the nasty, or should I say being nasty? One good scandal deserves another. Wonder who's going down next?

Spring Break is done and I'm starved for a dish. Were you sunning in Crete or sinning in Croatia? Give me the deets. Where does the dethroned royalty vacation these days? The French revolution had cake. The American had tea. Humiliated, party of one. The bitch is back. Looks like Utter Disgrace is the name on the label.

There are three things we do alone: we are born, we die, and if we're a high school junior headed for college, we take the SATs. And while the test is said to measure our best traits, preparing for it inevitably brings out the worst. Humility becomes self-doubt. Striving becomes obsession. Some are driven to self-medication. While others cling to the security of being part of a group. And anyone who's used to bending the rules will find themselves breaking them. The ghost of party's past. A. Go home and study, b. Get a good night's sleep, c. Call your boyfriend, or d.— None of the above. This test doesn't grade on a curve.

Who's sending this debasing dish? I have a feeling. Sometimes, in an effort to spread the most outrageous rumors, we look over the very thing that's even more scandalous—the truth. And the only thing more shocking than the truth are the lies people tell to cover it up. They prefer other gentlemen. I'm tired of being the bearer of bad grudges. This is the last item that goes to press without proof. You shouldn't give away the ending if you want him to pick up the book again. Weekend Update: A same-sex kiss hasn't caused this much controversy since Britney and Madonna. She spread lies instead. The sun will come out tomorrow. Even if your boyfriend did today.

In our modern age, when you call someone and can't find them you can be pretty sure they'll get the message. But if they don't call you back, it usually means they don't want to be found. Learning the lesson that nothing stays missing forever. Things always turn up. For better. Or for worse. Just because you finally tell the truth doesn't mean there won't be consequences. With friends like these who needs armies? In the city that never sleeps, a lot can happen in one night.

They save love conquers all. Looks like our resident moral compass isn't such a straight arrow after all. The only thing feared by the spawn of Satan? Mom and Dad. They're made. By parents even more wicked than their Beloved, we are gathered here today, in the face of this company, to watch this man and this woman totally F things up. Looks like I'm not the only one that cries at weddings. They say a leopard can't change his spots. But some things do change. The path not taken can become a road trip. Being grounded can lead to something groundbreaking. And whether they're sweating it out on the sultry sidewalks or cooling their heels in the Hamptons, no one does summer like New Yorkers. Grab your shades and your sunblock. This one looks like a scorcher. Until next time.

XOXO


End file.
